In a Mirror All But Shattered
by Loopylou
Summary: Set directly after Journey's End, the Doctor comes across a woman who needs his help. Can she help heal the wounds deep inside of his soul?
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note-**

**This story takes place directly after Journey's End. The Doctor has just left Donna at home. I need to get this out of my head before I write the next part of Last Rites for a Fading Star. I don't think that it's going to be a happy story, so be warned! Happy reading.**

In a Mirror All But Shattered

The TARDIS door closed behind him. The muted click seemed to echo in the large room. He took two small steps, and stopped. _It's so quiet. It's so quiet and I'm alone again. Maybe it's my curse. My atonement for the sins I committed, on that battlefield so long ago._ Rain water, warmed from his skin, slid down his neck and broke him from his thoughts. He stripped to his damp shirt and left his coat and jacket on the floor. The space seemed big and lonely without her beside him.

His hands moved all of their own accord and suddenly the TARDIS was moving. The engine rasped as they took off. The quiet, melodic patter of the rain vanished. For a long moment, the only sound he could hear was his own heartbeats. Her ghost lingered in the quiet, and it was all he could do to hold on to the hurt that had shattered him so deep inside. His eyes burned from the tears he so desperately wanted to shed. The TARDIS shuddered gently as it landed. The movement broke him from his thoughts, and he was grateful for the respite.

He stared at the door, waiting for that familiar tingle of excitement, of joy to fill him. _Nothing. Nothing but the pain and the emptiness. _He picked up his tangled jacket and slipped it on, still wet from the rain and her tears. _Donna's gone. You can't bring her back. She'll never remember you, or the lives that she saved. She's gone. You need to get over it like you did the last time, and the time before that._

Outside of the TARDIS, he paused and looked around. _Earth. Why won't this dammed planet let me be?_ A glorious sunset lit the sky above him, but the air felt cold on his face. The street was clean, the houses on it well tended. A few people walked past, too lost in conversation with each other to notice the lone man beside them. From somewhere close ahead, he heard the gentle lap of waves on a beach. The noise grew louder as he walked towards it. The air tasted of salt, and water.

Another sound that he couldn't place caught his attention and he stopped, strangely drawn towards the noise. A slender blonde woman sat on the sea wall, knees drawn to her chest. She wore a dark leather jacket and jeans. _Rose..._ For a brief second, his heart leapt, the settled as his memories fell into place. He sat on the wall a little way from her, feet dangling over the sea a few feet below. There was a rubbery piece of seaweed on the wall next to him, and he flicked it away. It landed in the water and was washed away.

Her shoulders tensed as she felt his presence, but she only moved to turn her face away. A stifled sob broke the silence. The force of it shook her body. A few strands of her hair came loose, and she brushed them away with a careless swipe of a hand. The wind blew it back into her face, and this time she left it there. Her hand shook, and he could tell if it was from the cold or from the force of her emotions.

He sucked in a breath as he saw what she held. _This isn't your fight. You can just walk away, before it hurts any more. Walk away and forget. _That would be the sensible plan, the sane plan. It would save his soul from any more hurt. Shame landed hard and heavy on his shoulders from his thoughts. _What are you becoming?_ He shifted towards her a little.

"Are you alright?" His softly spoken words seemed to hang in the air. She hesitated for so long he didn't think she was going to answer him.

"Are you going to stop me?" Her voice was faint and strained from crying.

He inched closer to her. "Do you want me to?"

"I'm not sure." Her shoulders twitched as she laughed bitterly. "I'm not sure of anything anymore."

"Can I sit with you?" His arm brushed her shoulder.

"Free world," she murmured. "Or so they say." She turned her tear stained face towards him. "Do you have the time? I'm waiting for the tide." She threw a pebble from the beach into the sea. "Do you think it'll hurt?"

"I don't know." His words were soft, eyes distant. "Are you sure you want to find out?"

She shrugged. "What's a little more pain after a lifetime of it?"

He flinched as her words struck deep. She brushed her fingers over his knuckles. "You lost someone you cared about recently. I'm sorry. You don't have to stay." She pulled her hand away from his. "I wouldn't blame you. This isn't your problem."

"How did you know that?" He asked, tone sharp. "Who told you that?"

She touched his face, a quick caress. Her fingers felt cold against his skin. "No-one told me. It's right here for the world to see. I'm sorry. It's none of my business."

"She... we were friends. Best friends. I showed her the universe, and it... broke her." He found another pebble and threw it into the water.

She didn't say anything, but wrapped her fingers around his hand and held on tight. The sun vanished from the sky, and below their feet, the sea looked dark and cold. A small wave splashed against the wall and threw water into the air. She flinched at it landed on her face.

"Oh, God. Please stop me. I don't want to die like this." Her voice was barely a whisper, but it cut straight to his heart.

Without thinking, he opened his arms and drew her into them. She folded against his chest willingly, her tears soaking through his shirt over his heart. Her hair glistened where his tears had dripped onto her bent head.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

"You're the Doctor." She let go of his shirt and leaned back to look at his face. She looked calmer, more in control of her emotions than she had just moments before. Her eyes were red rimmed from her crying.

He tensed, wary. "I am. How did you know that?"

"It's a long, sad story," she said with a sigh. "Are you sure that you want to hear it?" She searched his face, ignoring the tear tracks on his cheeks.

"We have all night." He fished in his pocket and found a crumpled but clean tissue. "Never been used, honest."

"Thanks." She took it with a fleeting smile and wiped her eyes. "Why don't we go somewhere warmer than here and I'll tell you my story?"

He gave her a ghost of his usual smile. "Your place or mine?"

**

Ten minutes later, she stood outside of her flat's door. "Shit." She gave him a sheepish look. "No keys. I posted them through my landlord's letterbox last night."

"What are you called, anyway?" He muttered as she felt the top of the door frame for a key.

"Emory Hart." She said flatly. "And you just go by the Doctor?"

"That I do." He nodded. "Nice to meet you, Emory Hart."

"The spare's gone too." She gave the door a disgusted look.

He pulled out his sonic screwdriver and held it up. "Allow me."

She stepped aside so he could reach the door. A few seconds passed while he worked on the stubborn lock.

"What is that thing?" She asked as he studied the lock.

"Sonic screwdriver." He flipped it in his hand. "Ah, wrong setting. Should be the next one."

"Hmm. Torchwood were going mad for one of those." She leaned against the wall and crossed her arms.

He looked up, surprised. "Really?"

She nodded. "Oh yeah."

He gave her a quizzical look before turning back to the lock. A few more seconds passed before she heard it click open.

"Ta-da!" He pushed the door and it swung open. "After you."

The flat looked deserted. The walls were bare. Brighter patches of paint showed where pictures had been. Boxes were stowed along the wall, each neatly labelled. She picked one up with kitchen written on it in red marker.

"Would you like tea?" She asked as she walked towards the kitchen.

He heard a muffled thump as she set the box down. "Milk, two sugars please."

She came back into the hallway to hang her jacket on a coat hook by the door.

"You survived a Varas attack," he said softly.

She looked down at the raised scars that covered her arms. "Yeah, aren't I the lucky one," she said flatly and went back into the kitchen.

He followed her and found her at the window. "I'm sorry. That must have been horrific for you."

"It was." She didn't turn, but he could see her reflection in the window. Her face was stiff with remembered pain. "But we're skipping ahead to the interesting parts."

The kettle boiled, and she slipped past him to fill the teapot. It spilled a little when she put it onto the kitchen table with two cups. He settled at the small table and pushed the sugar towards her. They sat quietly for a long moment, both lost in their own thoughts.

"I was stationed in Iraq with the Army. We were in the middle of nowhere, desert for miles around us. The camp had settled down for the night when the guards reported something approaching. Most of us didn't even have time to get out of bed before they hit." She took a sip of tea while she gathered her thoughts.

"How did you survive?" He watched the shadows in her eyes darken.

"A Torchwood team showed up. I don't even know what they did- I was in a coma for a week. Fifty two people died. Three of us lived. The other two are both dead now... they killed themselves." Her face was wet with tears, but she didn't seem to notice them.

"Can I see?" He asked very gently.

She leaned back, out of his reach. "You mean read my mind?"

He nodded. "The Varas leave a physic imprint behind. It's how they track their victims." He leaned forward and brushed a finger very lightly over her scars. "Plus, it'll help with the pain."

She gave him a long, searching look before she set her cup onto the table. "Alright. What are you going to do?"

"I'll touch you like this," he put his hands to his own temples "It won't hurt. Then I'll search for the physic imprint and remove it. That might be a bit painful."

"Will you see my memories?" She looked down at the scrubbed pine table.

"Yes. But I won't remember them."

"Fine. Do it then."

He gave her a long, reassuring look before placing his fingers on her temples and closing his eyes.


End file.
